Are You Fickle in Love?

Are you in love with love?

How long does it take for you to fall in love? A recent research study suggested that we could fall in love in 8 minutes. Dr. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University, says, "I think that you can fall in love with somebody in much less than 8 minutes of conversation but 8 minutes will do. I think we are an animal that was built for love at first sight."

How often do you fall in love? Some personality types adore the "new love chemistry high" and they fall in and out of love with abandon. Are you enamored (addicted?) with the experience? Since we are not perfect creatures we were given a chemical to mask our new love interest's faults. Researcher, Dr. Robert Friar, assures us this is true, "Falling in love involves Phenylethylamine or PEA, which causes a person to be less likely to be aware of the faults of the other person." Ask yourself, would you fall in love with someone who throws his underwear on the floor if you were not highly inebriated by amour? Serotonin and dopamine, two mood neurochemicals create much of the decidedly pleasurable love intoxication that overwhelms us. Do people who fall in love rapidly and habitually have more of the "love" neurochemicals? We really don't know.

Falling in love is one of the most spectacular and utterly magnificent experiences that can befall a mere human. The symptoms are similar to some psychological disorders. One study indicated that subjects who had recently fallen in love had more in common (chemically) with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder subjects with than with normal subjects. Thus, our world is turned upside down and we are perfectly happy not knowing what we are doing, where we are, or even who we are. Other people cease to exist as far as Romeo and Juliet are concerned. We walk around with the silliest grin on our faces...completely unaware it is there. Schoolwork suffers, careers suffer, and we couldn't care less. Life is good, the world is filled with bliss and we are in LOVE... And yet, with all of the psychotic symptoms and inconveniences we would not trade that fabulously enthralling condition for anything in our solar system. Are you in love with love?

Do you fall easily? Let's find out...

Take the test...

1. Have you been in love 10 or more times? Yes__ No__

When you have a new person in your life which of the following applies to you?

2. Want to spend all of your time with him or her? Yes__ No__

3. Feel maddeningly restless? Yes__ No__

4. Think about her all of the time? Yes__ No__

5. All of your emotions intensify? (i.e., angrier, happier, hurt more deeply). Yes__ No__

6. Foods, even your favorites (like chocolate chip cookies), lose all appeal? Yes__ No__

7. Members of the opposite sex no longer interest you, no matter how gorgeous (i.e., Harrison Ford in the Indy series)? Yes__ No__

8. Pursuits that once were fascinating are, yawn... just not important? Yes__ No__

9. Your idea of a good time is lying on your bed day dreaming about your sweet thing? Yes__ No__

10. You go from the heights of ecstasy to the depths of despair in 2.4 seconds. Yes__ No__

11. Do you feel as if you have walked into a "pea soup" fog and can't find your way out and (even worse) you don't care? Yes__ No__

12. Do you frequently answer questions with, "What did you say?" Yes__ No__

13. You would rather have a phone call or e-mail from your lover than from the President of the United States? Yes__ No__

14. You spend great chunks of your time listening to Elvis Pressley sing "The Wonder of You?" (or Peter Cetera, "Have You Ever Been in Love") Yes__ No__

15. Do you begin to feel the stirrings of love in less than two weeks? Yes___ No___

Scoring...give yourself one point for each yes answer.

1 - 5 Score:

There is definitely something extraordinary going on in your life. However, it could be the flu. If it is not the flu, and you have met an interesting new person, this may be the first stage. I don't know if I feel sympathy or envy... oh yes, I do... Go back to the first question, how often has this happened to you? Your answer to that question is the key. If it has happened 16 times, then, yes, you fall in love easily. Also, look at your answer to question 15. Answers to the other questions simply tell you the severity (your symptoms are in the low range) of your symptoms.

"No sooner met but they looked, no sooner looked than they loved than they sighed, no sooner sighed but they asked one another the reason, no sooner knew the reason but they sought the remedy." ~Shakespeare

Scores 6 - 10:

You have definitely been bitten. You are in mid stage and just beginning to really annoy the people around you. Fasten your seat belt... stage three is coming...As in the previous category how often has this happened to you and how quickly. Your severity of symptoms (perhaps, neurochemicals) is moderate. You may want to ask yourself, "How long do I stay in love?" It is possible to experience the chemistry and lose the true spirit of love. True love is long term; it provides a safe port in an often-chaotic world.

"It is best to love wisely, no doubt; but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all. " ~ William Thackeray

Scores 11 or over:

Absolutely, when you have it, you have it bad. If love were measured as a temperature... you are at 105 degrees. However, there is a positive consideration; you are so overwhelmed by the magnificence of love that you don't notice the symptoms. If you have been "ill" with love numerous times, you are extraordinarily talented at love at first sight. I salute you! One question, how will you know when the "right" one comes along? Perhaps you should consider slowing down. Take the time to understand each person, in depth... that will take many months. I will admit, the leisurely strategy lacks the electric shock effect to which you are accustomed. Nonetheless, you won't weep later because the "one" slipped by while you were looking in another direction.

"It is impossible to repent of love. The sin of love does not exist." ~ Muriel Spark

This test was taken from Dr. Dorothy McCoy's book, The Ultimate Book of Personlity Tests (Champion Press, 2005). It was a finalist in the USA Books psychology books for 2005.

About the Author Dr. Dorothy McCoy, Columbia, SC USA http://www.police-stress.com Learn more about love, personality, test, love test, Dr.McCoy is an author, psychotherapist and police consultant. Two of her books (The Ultimate Book of Personality Tests and From Shyness to Social Butterfly)have been published and three other books will be released in the next few months. She can be reached at drmccoy86@aol.com

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