The Questions
1. How can I say goodbye when I don't want to?
2. What if I love someone, and we are no longer together but he/she is moving away?
3. Can you please explain why some people keep returning to each other after repeated break-ups?
4. How do I stop thinking about the past and hoping for the future?
5. What do I do with all of the love I still feel for that person?
The Answers
How can I say goodbye when I don't want to?
When a circumstance happens that your personality might not like, it is imperative that you stop fighting what the universe is showing you, and start to look for the blessing in disguise, as well as the higher reason behind it.
When you truly learn to go with the flow, in the moment, you will gain a great deal of trust. What you will ultimately trust is that it is happening for your highest good and for the highest good of the other person. You might not see the higher reason at the current time, but you definitely will in hindsight.
You do not own another person. He or she can do whatever he or she wants to do. How could you not say goodbye if that is being asked of you? This is the root of desirous attachment. Your desires might be too attached to the other person in a way that is not healthy. The only way to release this, as with anything else, is with tremendous love and compassion for you and for the other person.
Look at what good can possibly come out of the situation. Look for what might very well be for each of your highest good. Replace "want" with "prefer". You "prefer" to trust that there are higher reasons behind this situation and what you "want" might not be possible at this time. It might be possible in the future, or never. Release that grip with a flow of unconditional love. This will serve each of you far better than holding on for dear life. As a matter of fact, a "dear life" is what you ultimately "want" both for you and the other person. Allow it to be what it is. As soon as you begin to "allow" then you will begin to feel inner peace, and the pain will vanish.
2. What if I love someone, and we are no longer together but he/she is moving away?
The greatest thing you can do is go into your deepest heart, that place where pure unconditional love resides, and wish that person the greatest life that any human being can possibly have. If you are able, you can let the person know that you love him/her, and that he or she can always call you if they ever want to. Then, with pure, transparent love, view the other person the way you would view a butterfly, and allow him or her to fly away freely, while you simultaneously send him or her your love and purest good wishes.
Sometimes people need to move away to have a fresh start. Sometimes they need to separate from the past so they can grow, heal, transform and bloom into their highest expression of self in this lifetime. Sometimes they need to re-create an entire new life. If you truly and genuinely love this person, you have to realize that it requires a great amount of self love to be able to allow another to go away so that you do not feel tortured inside, but that you feel love and inner peace.
Begin to view your love as the gift that it is, and view yourself with tremendous pure love, without condition. This means that there is no condition that validates how lovable or worthy you are. And, this includes whether or not a person is in your life.
It is vital that you realize that you are not saying goodbye to the love you feel, you are merely saying goodbye to the old circumstances. If you have not been together, chances are great that each of you needed to grow and perhaps could not do this while remaining physically together.
View this new circumstance as a positive experience for greater self love, for each of you! See the good in it. It is there, and if you look for it, you will find it! Under all circumstances, find the love in the situation, and how this is serving as a positive catalyst in each of your lives. This will bring you into a great deal of trust, and the pain will be replaced by unconditionally loving acceptance. This in turn leads to a great deal of inner peace.
3. Can you please explain why some people keep returning to each other after repeated break-ups?
There is only one thing in this universe can never be destroyed and this is pure love. When two people deeply love each other and have repeated break-ups this is a clear indication that each person has growing to do, or they, just like everyone else on earth, would not be in this life to begin with.
When two people are together and they trigger each of their deepest growth issues, deep rooted feelings will naturally come to the surface. Then the ego takes its typical "fight or flight" position. Some people break up when what they are feeling is triggering so much inside, that they just want to get away. In this case, the ego has won its temporary battle. However, as time passes, and each person has solitude to so some deep soul searching, they discover that they did, in fact, have some growing to do on the personal level. They even realize that the other person was a wonderful catalyst for this growth. The love comes back to the surface, and they somehow get back in touch with each other because the love truly never died!
Some people call this a "love/hate, can't live with him/her, can live without him/her" relationship. Personally, I do not agree with this view, as it is giving a surface excuse that labels something far deeper and wiser. I would call it profound love, growth and realization that has phases of togetherness and separation when needed for the growth of each person.
Relationships that are this deep have clearly come into our lives for higher reasons, and they are all related to growth. First for self, possibly to learn how to be authentic in a relationship, and ultimately it serves a positive purpose for many others.
If you find that you have been apart many times, and have returned to each other many times, I would venture to say that you have each grown tremendously as a result. Would you agree with this view? This is "why". It is all for growth. The other reason "why" is because pure love never dies, ever. So when you are together love and treasure every moment. When you are apart, love yourself while you bring your greatest contributions into this world. Under all circumstances give yourself and the other person pure, transparent love, while you trust that everything really is in divine order, and working out for each of your highest good.
4. How do I stop thinking about the past and hoping for the future?
Your mind is going to have thoughts and memories about the past. You might hear a song that brings back certain memories. You might come across something or some place that reminds you of the person you love. There are two key components to this.
The first one is allowing the thoughts to come to the surface instead of trying to get rid of them and block them out. They might trigger a lot of feelings and it is important that you acknowledge their existence. You can realize and learn a lot from what is coming into your mind from the past. You can grow and learn from these past memories. You can see how much you have already grown, and you can cherish the times you had in the past for all of the good it did bring into your life, even if some of those times were difficult. In this case, allow, acknowledge and come into your truth about what your thoughts and feelings are trying to get you to see, feel and recognize. You can have wonderful realizations if you take this approach and it is entirely empowering!
The second disempowering aspect of thinking about the past is dwelling in it and wishing it were the same. This takes you out of the now moment, when your creativity, and creatively thinking by looking for a higher reason as to why you are feeling this way will serve you so much better.
You cannot re-do the past. It is behind you. You can only go forward from this point one moment at a time. So if a past memory comes up, allow it to! What is it trying to tell you? How do you really feel about it? Come into your truth. Then, go with what you are getting. If the person you love contacts you, be REAL! If the person you love never contacts you again, trust and accept what is, and with a great amount of loving compassion for yourself, focus on what you can experience or create in this now moment.
The only time it will serve you to think about the past is when you truly want to learn and grow from your past experiences. Trying to bring back the past is like trying to bring back a breeze that passed by. But, you can always have a new breeze come your way. It could be the same person, or a new person. It could be many experiences you came into this life to express. The greatest thing you can do with your memories of the past is give them a lot of love, because they did serve you well, especially if they were difficult. If you are dwelling in a negative manner, then this is hindering your growth. Ask yourself what you have learned, and what means the most to you. Above all, trust that you would not be where you are today if those experiences were not in your life, and you are not meant to keep re-living the events of your past. You are here to create new, positive and life enriching ones. Can they be with the same person? That is up to each person's free will and choice. You can trust one thing, however, and that is that if it is meant to be for your highest good, it will be, no matter which way it turns out.
In a nutshell, view the past with love and appreciation. Then you can take all of the growth you have made and create, live, be and express so much more.
Hoping for the future is a complete waste of time. Why? Because it is detracting from this now moment when all creation exists! Pull yourself into NOW, and you will feel guided from within. Life will begin to flow smoothly, effortlessly, and everything will fall into place for your highest good. If you could only realize how profound this now moment is, when events happen that you would call a miracle, you will cease to live projecting into the future, and you will create everything from your heart NOW. There is nothing more pure and positive, and it all comes from your heart. TRUST that everything is unfolding according to your highest good. As you begin to get centered in this now moment, go with what your inner guidance and gut feelings are telling you! ALWAYS follow your inner guidance. THAT is what will create your "future" and it will result in the greatest life you could possibly have.
5. What do I do with all of the love I still feel for that person?
Allow it to be there. If you try to fight the love, try to get rid of it, and try to avoid it, I can pretty much guarantee that it is like trying to fight, get rid of and avoid the fact that sunlight exists.
If you feel love, then honor and acknowledge those feelings! They are letting you know your truth. Just by doing that alone will simultaneously bring you into your truth, and will stop the internal battle of your ego and your heart. What is so terrible about feeling love? Only what you believe can harm you, and those beliefs must be uprooted so you can at least feel your truth. Then, look at what is happening now. If you can, or wish to get in touch with the person you love, do so! If you know or have been asked to leave that person alone, then honor and respect what he or she asked of you. This must be done with purity of motive, with love and respect for yourself and for the other person.
If you are not able to be in contact with that person, simply feel your feelings, and create the best that you can out of them! The key here is to realize that it is okay to feel love for someone, however, it must be a "transparent" love with purity and zero "tactics" run by ego to push anything based on an agenda, an ego agenda. This "agenda' includes denial of your feelings. That is EGO in its prime.
Alternatively, you can write a book, a song or create something positive for others. Most importantly, you can love yourself for having the capacity to love! This is a GIFT in life, and it is one of the greatest gifts you can ever feel and express in any positive manner.
When you think of that special person, in your mind, wish him or her pure love, freely. When you are giving that from your heart, the other person will feel it. As long as it is pure, meaning that you truly wish the best for that person, you will then be able to bring out the best you have within you. This can also help many other people who are feeling the same way. How do I know this? You might wonder, so I will give you the answer. I recently experienced all of this, and the pure love remains beneath it all. I now trust that there really IS a higher reason for everything that happens.
I now know that there is perfect orchestration in this universe and everything is unfolding for the highest good of all, every step of the way. As I trust I learned to stop fighting it all, because there are precious gifts within every circumstance - I had to first learn to look for them, instead of what my ego used to either be attached to or avoid. I know that pure love never dies, and I had to stop trying to get rid of it. I had to ALLOW it and create the best that I can from it. At the same time, from the most pure place within, I do wish that very special person the greatest life any human being can ever have. I also wish this for you!
© Copyright by Barbara Rose, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
Barbara Rose, PhD. most widely known as "Born To Inspire" is the best selling author of "Know Yourself", "If God Hears Me, I Want an Answer!", "Stop Being the String Along", "If God Was Like Man" and Individual Power. She is an internationally recognized expert in the field of personal transformation, relationships and spiritual awakening. Barbara is a pioneering force in incorporating Higher Self Communication, the study and integration of humanity’s God-Nature into modern personal growth and spiritual evolution. Her highly acclaimed books, public speaking events, tele-seminars, widely published articles, and intensives have transformed the lives of thousands across the globe. She is the founder of IHSC -Institute of Higher Self Communication, inspire! Magazine and Rose Humanitarian Alliance. Barbara holds a Ph.D. in Metaphysics and works in cooperation with some of the greatest spiritual leaders of our time, to uplift the spiritual consciousness of humanity.
Visit her website http://www.borntoinspire.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Barbara_Rose,_Ph.D.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
A Journey to Love
You and I are on an incredible journey at this very moment, dancing in an exciting adventure that takes us into a new expansiveness beyond our imagination. It is a journey of love, one that knows no limits, has no fear, is authentically powerful and reaches for all possibilities. Is this your experience right now? Is your heart smiling with loving endless energy that you are radiating throughout the world, or are you lost in your own fearful limiting patterns, stuck in a box of your making, stagnant in movement?
I invite you to walk this journey with me for a while. I have been on a journey most of my life searching for love, wanting to know and understand this love, and only recently found it in the most unexpected place. Through my journey I often asked other people about love. Many responses were given about what it meant according to their perception - companionship, security, someone to come home to, sexual intimacy, procreation, sharing space, good feelings, belonging, feeling of family - but it wasn't enough. I knew there was more to real love than was being revealed. So I kept searching. Perhaps you too are searching. You see, finding love is the innate desire of all beings on this planet.
Most people search for love in the physical realm. You know, that zap of "chemistry," candlelight dinners, warm fuzzy feelings, making love, being together and sharing it all. This is love in the physical realm. Although wonderful and exciting, it does not begin to comprehend the vastness of real love. We all know that physical love can change rather rapidly - our divorce statistics certainly equate this - for physical intimacy provides only short-term gratification with connection that lacks depth. So if physical connections - whether partner/partner, friend/friend or parent/child - do not provide the filled up, satisfying, overflowing love, well then, what does?
The search continued. First was a long marriage, but the love faded away until it was gone. There were five children - they kept me busy and fulfilled and happy for a while it seemed. I was too busy to look further so just accepted this was it, even though I longed to know more. Funny thing though, the kids grew up and moved onto their own path, leaving me behind. I tried one business after another, did well in all of them, but something was always missing. I was empty and my soul cried out for that love. My face told the story of my heart's condition, for what one is on the inside is mirrored to the outside for all to see. I kept looking.
I continued my journey and some revealing insights came to me. I looked at other people walking past me or even beside me, and saw the same emptiness in many of them. I was puzzled, but also relieved that I wasn't the only one searching. Most were doing what I was doing, hurrying here and there thus avoiding time to think about the emptiness, filling their lives with busyness. Sadly, the more I accomplished, the more accolades I received, the busier I became, the emptier I was. What a mystery. It surely wasn't turning out as I had been taught - get married, raise a family, take care of everyone's needs, work a job perhaps, go to church, live by the "Golden Rule," give and give, and you will know love.
Oftentimes I'd look back and try to figure out where I went wrong according to my perception. I must have done something wrong or taken a wrong turn. Of course, I thought, the problem is with the marriage; I must have married the "wrong" person. No wonder I couldn't find love. So perhaps I'll find another partner who is the "right" one. Ever traveled this path?
Years had gone by, illness overtook me, recovery was slow because of the internal pain. It was during that time that I understood another dimension of illness - emotional pain. As I journeyed this path and explored every nook and cranny for answers, I discovered some wondrous insights and was divinely prompted to write my first book - A Woman's Path to Wholeness: the Gift is in the Process. My intention had been to write a different book, but I was led down this path. I realized the core of most physical illness is found in the emotional and spiritual realms and many needed to hear these insights. Then one day I came to a crossroad that offered several possibilities. Which one was the right path? How could I know? God intervened and a cosmic two-by-four, strategically placed, got my attention so that I realized I needed to step out of my comfort zone and grow. My entire life began to transform and new doors opened in miraculous ways. My intuition literally exploded with massive force as realms of enlightenment overtook my beingness. Perhaps you've experienced this process.
One day, as I rounded a bend, there it was, staring me right in the face, the love I had been searching for all my life. How could I have missed it all this time I wondered? For the love I had longed for, cried for, dreamed of, prayed for and searched for was with me all the time. It was inside of me, right there in my soul and heart, and I couldn't see it. It was on the other side of the fears - the anger, hurt, shame, guilt, defectiveness, bitterness, blame, manipulation, control, jealousy, pain, and revenge - completely shadowed by them. And the love inside of me was reflecting the love of God from whence I came. I am a child of God! At that moment I realized how magnificent I am, a woman of worth, the embodiment of divine, unconditional, boundless love.
I had work to do to uncover this love. Release, let go, surrender became words to live by. I quit resisting the love and it spilled out to heal the multidimensional wounds of my life experience and let them go. Learning to retrieve the love from its hidden place and remember from whence one came, is not an instant realization. It involves steps to allow it to be revealed, like peeling away layer upon layer of encrusted negative patterns. I had to unconditionally love myself - not an easy assignment after a lifetime of self-incrimination - and to accept that we are all perfectly created from nothing but love. We've never been anything else but love as part of the universal, perfect love of our Creator; we just forgot.
So there it was - the secret to finding love - be the love you are seeking and it will find you. I replaced the fear and all its derivatives with loving energies - forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, appreciation, kindness - and the love grew and grew. I glided down the path now without the weight of the past. I forgave the people who according to my perception had hurt me, going beyond the dimension of human comprehension, and there I found love, real love, that moves above the externals of the physical realm and sees the divine light in every soul. I claimed my birthright power in this process and felt the most healing expansiveness I had ever experienced, way beyond the realm of my past knowingness.
Knowing this unconditional love shifts everything in your mindfulness. I looked at the world - all these people screaming out for love - feeling such depth of sadness that it was eluding them as it had me for so long. I wanted to shout from the rooftops that they already had it within them, but I knew they wouldn't listen. The world looks with different glasses so love seen by their misguided eyes is simply need. This is why love fades away for many - they are trying so hard to use this interpretation of love to validate themselves, to fill up the empty caverns within them, to feel secure, approved of, connected, complete, desired - all of ego.
Most amazing of all is that love doesn't need to be achieved, it simply is. It's always there for us and in us just as air is always present to allow us to breathe. Such is real love, divine love, our life-force breathing out to all people on this planet. It has no judgment or expectations. It allows for you to be yourself, standing in your own magnificence, complete as you are. Real love doesn't require approval, does not judge, and isn't a manipulative force.
Again my divine guidance came with urgency to put aside the book I was working on and write The Realness of a Woman, A Journey for Seeking, Remembering and Being Who You Are. As the words poured through me I realized the powerful effect of this Divine Consciousness for a world that needs to remember.
The journey to love begins and ends within our hearts and souls. The mirror of life reflects only what it sees. Does your mirror reflect the divine eternal love of your Creator so that your heartspace radiates love to those who walk the path of life with you? Or is your love obscured by the shadows of doubt and fear and hidden from the view of the world as you hide in the "box" you created for your life? Our journey is for our spiritual awakening to the glorious awareness of a life of love. The love you are seeking begins as you!
Written by Rev. Dr. Carolyn Porter, speaker, trainer, energy healer, publisher, minister and author of A Woman's Path to Wholeness, The Realness of a Woman and Put the Dynamo in Your Communication. The following excerpt is taken from her book, The Realness of a Woman, A Journey for Seeking, Remembering & Being Who You Are.
"Real love doesn't need to be achieved, it simply is. Once you have obtained the knowingness
of love as the Universe intended us to feel, nothing in your life will ever be the same again,
and you will see that the love of the world is not really love, it is need. This awareness can
transform your life and create a passion that grows and grows, a passion for life itself as you
realize the greatness already within your being. It is recognizing this greatness that already
lies within you that gives you realness in being the wonderful woman you really are, one who
is genuinely in love with herself!
This book is written for those women who seek more from life, who know they are more and
are searching to be revealed. Your journey through these pages is solely to substantiate
enlightenment of your soul, the place where you are real. As you read this book, yearn to
understand the relevance of knowing the depth and breath of divine love, for the love you are
knowing is you. Love is all there is."
Carolyn Porter, D. Div., is an Inspirational Speaker, Author of multiple books, ebooks and audios, Trainer, Spiritual Wholeness Coach and Energy Facilitator who has experienced the thrill of knowing and feeling love, first for herself, and then for others. As a result, love pours into her life, being the magnet for attracting that love.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Carolyn_Porter
I invite you to walk this journey with me for a while. I have been on a journey most of my life searching for love, wanting to know and understand this love, and only recently found it in the most unexpected place. Through my journey I often asked other people about love. Many responses were given about what it meant according to their perception - companionship, security, someone to come home to, sexual intimacy, procreation, sharing space, good feelings, belonging, feeling of family - but it wasn't enough. I knew there was more to real love than was being revealed. So I kept searching. Perhaps you too are searching. You see, finding love is the innate desire of all beings on this planet.
Most people search for love in the physical realm. You know, that zap of "chemistry," candlelight dinners, warm fuzzy feelings, making love, being together and sharing it all. This is love in the physical realm. Although wonderful and exciting, it does not begin to comprehend the vastness of real love. We all know that physical love can change rather rapidly - our divorce statistics certainly equate this - for physical intimacy provides only short-term gratification with connection that lacks depth. So if physical connections - whether partner/partner, friend/friend or parent/child - do not provide the filled up, satisfying, overflowing love, well then, what does?
The search continued. First was a long marriage, but the love faded away until it was gone. There were five children - they kept me busy and fulfilled and happy for a while it seemed. I was too busy to look further so just accepted this was it, even though I longed to know more. Funny thing though, the kids grew up and moved onto their own path, leaving me behind. I tried one business after another, did well in all of them, but something was always missing. I was empty and my soul cried out for that love. My face told the story of my heart's condition, for what one is on the inside is mirrored to the outside for all to see. I kept looking.
I continued my journey and some revealing insights came to me. I looked at other people walking past me or even beside me, and saw the same emptiness in many of them. I was puzzled, but also relieved that I wasn't the only one searching. Most were doing what I was doing, hurrying here and there thus avoiding time to think about the emptiness, filling their lives with busyness. Sadly, the more I accomplished, the more accolades I received, the busier I became, the emptier I was. What a mystery. It surely wasn't turning out as I had been taught - get married, raise a family, take care of everyone's needs, work a job perhaps, go to church, live by the "Golden Rule," give and give, and you will know love.
Oftentimes I'd look back and try to figure out where I went wrong according to my perception. I must have done something wrong or taken a wrong turn. Of course, I thought, the problem is with the marriage; I must have married the "wrong" person. No wonder I couldn't find love. So perhaps I'll find another partner who is the "right" one. Ever traveled this path?
Years had gone by, illness overtook me, recovery was slow because of the internal pain. It was during that time that I understood another dimension of illness - emotional pain. As I journeyed this path and explored every nook and cranny for answers, I discovered some wondrous insights and was divinely prompted to write my first book - A Woman's Path to Wholeness: the Gift is in the Process. My intention had been to write a different book, but I was led down this path. I realized the core of most physical illness is found in the emotional and spiritual realms and many needed to hear these insights. Then one day I came to a crossroad that offered several possibilities. Which one was the right path? How could I know? God intervened and a cosmic two-by-four, strategically placed, got my attention so that I realized I needed to step out of my comfort zone and grow. My entire life began to transform and new doors opened in miraculous ways. My intuition literally exploded with massive force as realms of enlightenment overtook my beingness. Perhaps you've experienced this process.
One day, as I rounded a bend, there it was, staring me right in the face, the love I had been searching for all my life. How could I have missed it all this time I wondered? For the love I had longed for, cried for, dreamed of, prayed for and searched for was with me all the time. It was inside of me, right there in my soul and heart, and I couldn't see it. It was on the other side of the fears - the anger, hurt, shame, guilt, defectiveness, bitterness, blame, manipulation, control, jealousy, pain, and revenge - completely shadowed by them. And the love inside of me was reflecting the love of God from whence I came. I am a child of God! At that moment I realized how magnificent I am, a woman of worth, the embodiment of divine, unconditional, boundless love.
I had work to do to uncover this love. Release, let go, surrender became words to live by. I quit resisting the love and it spilled out to heal the multidimensional wounds of my life experience and let them go. Learning to retrieve the love from its hidden place and remember from whence one came, is not an instant realization. It involves steps to allow it to be revealed, like peeling away layer upon layer of encrusted negative patterns. I had to unconditionally love myself - not an easy assignment after a lifetime of self-incrimination - and to accept that we are all perfectly created from nothing but love. We've never been anything else but love as part of the universal, perfect love of our Creator; we just forgot.
So there it was - the secret to finding love - be the love you are seeking and it will find you. I replaced the fear and all its derivatives with loving energies - forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, appreciation, kindness - and the love grew and grew. I glided down the path now without the weight of the past. I forgave the people who according to my perception had hurt me, going beyond the dimension of human comprehension, and there I found love, real love, that moves above the externals of the physical realm and sees the divine light in every soul. I claimed my birthright power in this process and felt the most healing expansiveness I had ever experienced, way beyond the realm of my past knowingness.
Knowing this unconditional love shifts everything in your mindfulness. I looked at the world - all these people screaming out for love - feeling such depth of sadness that it was eluding them as it had me for so long. I wanted to shout from the rooftops that they already had it within them, but I knew they wouldn't listen. The world looks with different glasses so love seen by their misguided eyes is simply need. This is why love fades away for many - they are trying so hard to use this interpretation of love to validate themselves, to fill up the empty caverns within them, to feel secure, approved of, connected, complete, desired - all of ego.
Most amazing of all is that love doesn't need to be achieved, it simply is. It's always there for us and in us just as air is always present to allow us to breathe. Such is real love, divine love, our life-force breathing out to all people on this planet. It has no judgment or expectations. It allows for you to be yourself, standing in your own magnificence, complete as you are. Real love doesn't require approval, does not judge, and isn't a manipulative force.
Again my divine guidance came with urgency to put aside the book I was working on and write The Realness of a Woman, A Journey for Seeking, Remembering and Being Who You Are. As the words poured through me I realized the powerful effect of this Divine Consciousness for a world that needs to remember.
The journey to love begins and ends within our hearts and souls. The mirror of life reflects only what it sees. Does your mirror reflect the divine eternal love of your Creator so that your heartspace radiates love to those who walk the path of life with you? Or is your love obscured by the shadows of doubt and fear and hidden from the view of the world as you hide in the "box" you created for your life? Our journey is for our spiritual awakening to the glorious awareness of a life of love. The love you are seeking begins as you!
Written by Rev. Dr. Carolyn Porter, speaker, trainer, energy healer, publisher, minister and author of A Woman's Path to Wholeness, The Realness of a Woman and Put the Dynamo in Your Communication. The following excerpt is taken from her book, The Realness of a Woman, A Journey for Seeking, Remembering & Being Who You Are.
"Real love doesn't need to be achieved, it simply is. Once you have obtained the knowingness
of love as the Universe intended us to feel, nothing in your life will ever be the same again,
and you will see that the love of the world is not really love, it is need. This awareness can
transform your life and create a passion that grows and grows, a passion for life itself as you
realize the greatness already within your being. It is recognizing this greatness that already
lies within you that gives you realness in being the wonderful woman you really are, one who
is genuinely in love with herself!
This book is written for those women who seek more from life, who know they are more and
are searching to be revealed. Your journey through these pages is solely to substantiate
enlightenment of your soul, the place where you are real. As you read this book, yearn to
understand the relevance of knowing the depth and breath of divine love, for the love you are
knowing is you. Love is all there is."
Carolyn Porter, D. Div., is an Inspirational Speaker, Author of multiple books, ebooks and audios, Trainer, Spiritual Wholeness Coach and Energy Facilitator who has experienced the thrill of knowing and feeling love, first for herself, and then for others. As a result, love pours into her life, being the magnet for attracting that love.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Carolyn_Porter
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Finding More Love in Your Life
After observing the riots in the Middle East and seeing the anger of Muslims over a cartoon of Muhammed, it prompted me to write this article.
Having seen all of that hate expressed over this cartoon also reminded me that hatred is never the path to true peace and happiness.
Since religion is supposed to make us better people, I have to ask the Muslim world, how can all of that hatred make me a better person?
As a Christian, the very linch pin of my faith is the idea of love. I'm not talking about the kind of love you see in the movies. That's lust.
I'm talking about the kind of love that changes the world and makes it a better place to live. The kind of love that heals, that makes us want to be better human beings. The kind of love that would make the Good Samaritan want to stop on the side of the road and help a man he didn't know simply because the man was in need.
The Bible teaches us that God is love (1 John 4:118). Jesus said that the greatest commandments were to love God, and then love our neighbor AS ourselves (Mark 12:28-31). This means that a crucial part of loving others involves loving ourselves so that we can love others.
However, he never explained what real love was in this passage. What is real love?
1 Corinthians 13 gives us an explanation. In verses four through eight, it explains what real love is: patient and kind, without envy, arrogance or rudeness, and it seeks the truth.
These values are old fashioned. We live in a society where people do evil things and then claim they made a mistake. That they shouldn't suffer the consequences because what they did was a joke, they weren't in their right minds, or any other myriad of excuses.
We live in a world where a cartoon causes more anger, and a deeper call for justice, than the deaths of millions over religious fervor.
Yet, what, as Christians, can we do? So why is it so hard for us to love? Why should we love our enemies? Why should we love people who may, at the very core of their existence, be evil?
The lack of the ability to love comes from being hurt. From holding onto our hurts and our pain. To carrying around the burden of our sin. There are many other reasons, but these are the most obvious and basic.
The path to learning to love others comes from learning to be whole. To heal. To find freedom from our sin. To let go of the pain, grudges, and hurts of the past. By letting go of these things, we become free. This is the kind of freedom Jesus offered us, a kind of freedom that isn't available in any other religion.
Although other religions are bound by rulese, Christianity really isn't. The enduring concept of Christianity is grace. Grace is an undeserved gift, the love and favor of God. If he can love us even when we dont deserved to be loved, how can we not love others?
I believe that only free people can truly love. Although there are many reasons that I chose to become a Christian, one of the main reasons was that Christianity offered a freedom, and a peace, that no other religion offered. With that freedom and peace comes a price though: it puts us in conflict with the world and the values of the world.
Another reason that it is hard for us to love others we don't want to love is that it requires sacrifice. Sacrifice is an alien concept in our society today because it means putting the needs of others ahead of our own. It means paying a high price because we aren't gratifying our own ego.
We also requires us to give up our preconceived notions and judgements of others. It requires that we care for those who may have unjustly wronged us because of their own selfish motives. What we don't often understand is that loving others isn't about who they are; it's about who we are.
I believe that love is the most powerful force in the universe. I believe that love has the power to change the world that we live in. Love is the solution to the problems of the world.
Love is what gives us the capacity to truly change the world and make it a better place to live in. I'm sure that this sounds simplistic, but it's the only force powerful enough to cure what truly ails us as human beings.
You may say, "but I'm only one person". It doesn't matter. It only takes one person to make the world a better place. Apply the principle of love in your life, and you will watch your whole life change, your whole world change. This is how true change begins, at an individual level.
Maybe you're saying, "but what will others think of me?" When you truly love others, it really doesn't matter what they think. The question now becomes, "how can I love others more"? Again, it's the path to freedom.
If you haven't gotten everything out of your faith in Christ you thought you'd receive when you became a Christian, maybe it's time for a change. Christianity isn't a religion anyway; it's a way of life. It calls us to a different standard than that of the world, a standard that would make the world a better place if we only lived by it.
If your life isn't all it should be today, try applying more love to it. After all, love is the only true path to lasting peace and happiness.
If you want more success in business, in your relationships, and in your life, try applying love to the situation. As you change, your world will change forever. For the better.
In the words of Newsong, "Love is the only solution". So let's start a "Love Revolution".
Jinger Jarrett is the owner of 101 Christian, a free dating site where you can post your Christian articles and other news. Get your free account today: http://www.101christian.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jinger_Jarrett
Having seen all of that hate expressed over this cartoon also reminded me that hatred is never the path to true peace and happiness.
Since religion is supposed to make us better people, I have to ask the Muslim world, how can all of that hatred make me a better person?
As a Christian, the very linch pin of my faith is the idea of love. I'm not talking about the kind of love you see in the movies. That's lust.
I'm talking about the kind of love that changes the world and makes it a better place to live. The kind of love that heals, that makes us want to be better human beings. The kind of love that would make the Good Samaritan want to stop on the side of the road and help a man he didn't know simply because the man was in need.
The Bible teaches us that God is love (1 John 4:118). Jesus said that the greatest commandments were to love God, and then love our neighbor AS ourselves (Mark 12:28-31). This means that a crucial part of loving others involves loving ourselves so that we can love others.
However, he never explained what real love was in this passage. What is real love?
1 Corinthians 13 gives us an explanation. In verses four through eight, it explains what real love is: patient and kind, without envy, arrogance or rudeness, and it seeks the truth.
These values are old fashioned. We live in a society where people do evil things and then claim they made a mistake. That they shouldn't suffer the consequences because what they did was a joke, they weren't in their right minds, or any other myriad of excuses.
We live in a world where a cartoon causes more anger, and a deeper call for justice, than the deaths of millions over religious fervor.
Yet, what, as Christians, can we do? So why is it so hard for us to love? Why should we love our enemies? Why should we love people who may, at the very core of their existence, be evil?
The lack of the ability to love comes from being hurt. From holding onto our hurts and our pain. To carrying around the burden of our sin. There are many other reasons, but these are the most obvious and basic.
The path to learning to love others comes from learning to be whole. To heal. To find freedom from our sin. To let go of the pain, grudges, and hurts of the past. By letting go of these things, we become free. This is the kind of freedom Jesus offered us, a kind of freedom that isn't available in any other religion.
Although other religions are bound by rulese, Christianity really isn't. The enduring concept of Christianity is grace. Grace is an undeserved gift, the love and favor of God. If he can love us even when we dont deserved to be loved, how can we not love others?
I believe that only free people can truly love. Although there are many reasons that I chose to become a Christian, one of the main reasons was that Christianity offered a freedom, and a peace, that no other religion offered. With that freedom and peace comes a price though: it puts us in conflict with the world and the values of the world.
Another reason that it is hard for us to love others we don't want to love is that it requires sacrifice. Sacrifice is an alien concept in our society today because it means putting the needs of others ahead of our own. It means paying a high price because we aren't gratifying our own ego.
We also requires us to give up our preconceived notions and judgements of others. It requires that we care for those who may have unjustly wronged us because of their own selfish motives. What we don't often understand is that loving others isn't about who they are; it's about who we are.
I believe that love is the most powerful force in the universe. I believe that love has the power to change the world that we live in. Love is the solution to the problems of the world.
Love is what gives us the capacity to truly change the world and make it a better place to live in. I'm sure that this sounds simplistic, but it's the only force powerful enough to cure what truly ails us as human beings.
You may say, "but I'm only one person". It doesn't matter. It only takes one person to make the world a better place. Apply the principle of love in your life, and you will watch your whole life change, your whole world change. This is how true change begins, at an individual level.
Maybe you're saying, "but what will others think of me?" When you truly love others, it really doesn't matter what they think. The question now becomes, "how can I love others more"? Again, it's the path to freedom.
If you haven't gotten everything out of your faith in Christ you thought you'd receive when you became a Christian, maybe it's time for a change. Christianity isn't a religion anyway; it's a way of life. It calls us to a different standard than that of the world, a standard that would make the world a better place if we only lived by it.
If your life isn't all it should be today, try applying more love to it. After all, love is the only true path to lasting peace and happiness.
If you want more success in business, in your relationships, and in your life, try applying love to the situation. As you change, your world will change forever. For the better.
In the words of Newsong, "Love is the only solution". So let's start a "Love Revolution".
Jinger Jarrett is the owner of 101 Christian, a free dating site where you can post your Christian articles and other news. Get your free account today: http://www.101christian.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jinger_Jarrett
Falling In Love - Is It True Love or Infatuation?
Falling in love - someday it will happen to you. You will find yourself suddenly falling in love and it will amaze you.
You can't run away from it. Love eventually catches up with everyone. It may be sooner or later. Whatever the time, however long it takes, you can be absolutely sure someday will fall head over heels in love with someone.
But that is not the scary part.
The part that scares most people is the fact love sometimes tend to be blind - or so it seems.
The truth is, true love is hard to come by. Real love is rare. When you finally find something that seems like true love, you grab it with both hands. You invest everything you've got in it. Unfortunately, you may find out months later that it isn't real love. You have been chasing a dream!
That brings us back to the really scary part. Love tends to be blind. People falling in love tend to be irrational and illogical. The love emotion takes over. Thereafter nothing else matters.
Why is this scary?
The answer is simple. Love can be destructive. Love, blind love, can ruin your life.
Yes, some kind of love is blind love. This kind of love is infatuation.
True love or real love, is constructive and upbuilding. True love is
* Realistic
* Compassionate
* Considerate
* Unselfish
* Practical and down-to-earth
Blind love or infatuation is unrealistic, selfish, and destructive.
When falling in love, ask yourself what kind of love you are falling into. Is it true love or infatuation? Is your love based on unselfish and realistic expectations or on a fantasy?
Consider an example of how blind love, infatuation, can be.
Sharon was from a decent and wealthy home. She was an undergraduate who had everything she wanted. She was astoundingly beauty and well-trained and cultured. Understandably, suitors came in droves.
Her father's wealth poured her way so she was rich in the accepted sense of the word. The suitors asking her hand in marriage were just as rich. Many had an enviable social status.
However, Sharon just wasn't interested. Marriage wasn't in her books yet. And when she decides to get married, she would marry the man of her dreams. So she said.
Eventually, Sharon fell in love. Unfortunately, her lover was a rude shock to everyone including her parents.
Sharon's boyfriend was a heroine smoking cult boy with an attitude. He wasn't exactly crazy about her. But she footed his bill and paid his way to smoking haven. So he put up with her.
Sharon, on the other hand, was madly in love. She saw something in him she hadn't seen anywhere else. Her boyfriend, Larry, was broad shouldered, tall, tough, raw, bold, unrelenting, and daring. He could stare death in the face and not bart an eyelid. Her boyfriend was a real man!
Sharon was madly in love with Larry and there was no stopping her. Her parents could not understand why their rich and well-breed daughter fell in love with a poor heroine smoking gangster. Her friends couldn't understand either.
Can you feel Sharon's love? Do you understand why her gentle her fell for a hoodlum?
Sharon fell in love with a dream - a bold, daring, no nonsense, dare devil guy. He had the looks and the heart of a lion. She admired that bravery, that manly boldness. Soon that admiration turned to love. And there was no stopping her.
However, she's on the wrong road.
True love is not based on physical attraction. Physical attraction eventually fails as people get older and age. What counts most is spiritual virtues - your lover's personality.
A heroine smoking gangster will eventually get into trouble and land himself in jail. A cultist gangster takes delight in beating people up and fomenting trouble. Sooner or later, if they get married, she may become a battered wife.
Do you get the point?
Infatuation is blind, physical, destructive. True love is clear-sighted, up-building,
refreshing.
True love, real love, is based on realistic expectations and facts. It is selfless and works for the good of her partner. Infatuation, on the other hand, doesn't care about reality. It focuses on the physical and immediate gain.
Evaluate your feelings properly before continuing with that love relationship.
Relationships based on true love lasts forever. Relationships based on infatuation are usually temporary and momentary. That is the very reason why some marriages last two weeks, some seven days and still others, a lifetime.
The difference is true love. Real love is true and lasts forever.
Thinking of falling in love?
Make sure it is real love. Evaluate your lovers potentials in relation to your desire most - what is known and proven to that make relationships last.
Hey, fall in love the right way. It's your life. It's your future. It's your happiness at stake.
Samson Itoje is a seasoned author and relationship expert. He offers free love relationship advice and love quiz at http://www.true-love-relationship-advice.com/love-quiz.html. His books on love, money, and business are available at http://www.lagos-nigeria-real-estate-advisor.com/book-store.html.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Samson_Itoje
You can't run away from it. Love eventually catches up with everyone. It may be sooner or later. Whatever the time, however long it takes, you can be absolutely sure someday will fall head over heels in love with someone.
But that is not the scary part.
The part that scares most people is the fact love sometimes tend to be blind - or so it seems.
The truth is, true love is hard to come by. Real love is rare. When you finally find something that seems like true love, you grab it with both hands. You invest everything you've got in it. Unfortunately, you may find out months later that it isn't real love. You have been chasing a dream!
That brings us back to the really scary part. Love tends to be blind. People falling in love tend to be irrational and illogical. The love emotion takes over. Thereafter nothing else matters.
Why is this scary?
The answer is simple. Love can be destructive. Love, blind love, can ruin your life.
Yes, some kind of love is blind love. This kind of love is infatuation.
True love or real love, is constructive and upbuilding. True love is
* Realistic
* Compassionate
* Considerate
* Unselfish
* Practical and down-to-earth
Blind love or infatuation is unrealistic, selfish, and destructive.
When falling in love, ask yourself what kind of love you are falling into. Is it true love or infatuation? Is your love based on unselfish and realistic expectations or on a fantasy?
Consider an example of how blind love, infatuation, can be.
Sharon was from a decent and wealthy home. She was an undergraduate who had everything she wanted. She was astoundingly beauty and well-trained and cultured. Understandably, suitors came in droves.
Her father's wealth poured her way so she was rich in the accepted sense of the word. The suitors asking her hand in marriage were just as rich. Many had an enviable social status.
However, Sharon just wasn't interested. Marriage wasn't in her books yet. And when she decides to get married, she would marry the man of her dreams. So she said.
Eventually, Sharon fell in love. Unfortunately, her lover was a rude shock to everyone including her parents.
Sharon's boyfriend was a heroine smoking cult boy with an attitude. He wasn't exactly crazy about her. But she footed his bill and paid his way to smoking haven. So he put up with her.
Sharon, on the other hand, was madly in love. She saw something in him she hadn't seen anywhere else. Her boyfriend, Larry, was broad shouldered, tall, tough, raw, bold, unrelenting, and daring. He could stare death in the face and not bart an eyelid. Her boyfriend was a real man!
Sharon was madly in love with Larry and there was no stopping her. Her parents could not understand why their rich and well-breed daughter fell in love with a poor heroine smoking gangster. Her friends couldn't understand either.
Can you feel Sharon's love? Do you understand why her gentle her fell for a hoodlum?
Sharon fell in love with a dream - a bold, daring, no nonsense, dare devil guy. He had the looks and the heart of a lion. She admired that bravery, that manly boldness. Soon that admiration turned to love. And there was no stopping her.
However, she's on the wrong road.
True love is not based on physical attraction. Physical attraction eventually fails as people get older and age. What counts most is spiritual virtues - your lover's personality.
A heroine smoking gangster will eventually get into trouble and land himself in jail. A cultist gangster takes delight in beating people up and fomenting trouble. Sooner or later, if they get married, she may become a battered wife.
Do you get the point?
Infatuation is blind, physical, destructive. True love is clear-sighted, up-building,
refreshing.
True love, real love, is based on realistic expectations and facts. It is selfless and works for the good of her partner. Infatuation, on the other hand, doesn't care about reality. It focuses on the physical and immediate gain.
Evaluate your feelings properly before continuing with that love relationship.
Relationships based on true love lasts forever. Relationships based on infatuation are usually temporary and momentary. That is the very reason why some marriages last two weeks, some seven days and still others, a lifetime.
The difference is true love. Real love is true and lasts forever.
Thinking of falling in love?
Make sure it is real love. Evaluate your lovers potentials in relation to your desire most - what is known and proven to that make relationships last.
Hey, fall in love the right way. It's your life. It's your future. It's your happiness at stake.
Samson Itoje is a seasoned author and relationship expert. He offers free love relationship advice and love quiz at http://www.true-love-relationship-advice.com/love-quiz.html. His books on love, money, and business are available at http://www.lagos-nigeria-real-estate-advisor.com/book-store.html.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Samson_Itoje
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
I Love You-Will You be My Valentine?
"I love you" is a "sweetest" one liner...we all likes to listen...not only once in a year but everyday. Though there should not be any particular occasion or time for one to express his or her love to any person whom they love...it should be often and regular, but how many of us really understand the meaning and importance of love. People across the globe...we all love to be loved by others...by our parents, by our friends and by that "Special" person of our life. Often we don't understand the importance of love...feelings and emotions. There is a misconception that your love for that special person starts from bedroom.
To start with...Why does one love? Is it to find an escape from the pains of loneliness or is it to feel the warmth of fulfillment that it brings to one's heart? To me, love is the essential of all being. One cannot exist without the love of another. To live for another makes a life complete in every way. Each beat of one's heart, each breath, each small thought signifies a Small part of a love that is shared with another.
Who does one love? Are two people destined to come together or is it by chance alone? Only one's heart can tell when love has come. It can feel the longing desire from its deepest point and it can feel the overpowering attraction when they are close. One loves whom his heart has chosen.
When does one love? Does one share their love in the soft mist of the early morning or in the crisp breeze of the darkening night? Those that are truly in love know no night or day, no dark or light. Love is a continuous thing.
So, if you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.
And if you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him/her, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage. Do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.
And if you fall in love with someone, he/she falls in love with you and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time. Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life.
Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can. There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them Rather than from them.
The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.
Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into saying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do.
Love always has been and always will be a mystery. Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life. IF YOU KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN, IT WILL COME AGAIN.
Why Valentines Day?
In the third century, the Roman Empire was ruled by Emperor Claudius II Gothicus. He was nicknamed Claudius the Cruel because of his harsh leadership and his tendency for getting into wars and abusing his people. In fact, he was getting into so many wars during the third century that he was having a difficult time recruiting enough soldiers.
Claudius believed that recruitment for the army was down because Roman men did not want to leave their loves or families behind, so he canceled all marriages and engagements in Rome. Thousands of couples saw their hopes of matrimony dashed by the single act of a tyrant. And no one seemed interested in standing up to the emperor.
But a simple Christian priest named Valentine did come forward and stood up for love. He began to secretly marry soldiers before they went off to war, despite the emperor's orders. In 269 AD Emperor Claudius found out about the secret ceremonies. He had Valentine thrown into prison and deemed that he would be put to death.
As Valentine was awaiting execution, he fell in love with a blind girl, who happened to be the jailers daughter. On the eve of his execution, with no writing instruments available, Valentine is said to have written her a sonnet in ink that he squeezed from violets. Legend has it that his words made the blind woman see again. It was a brief romance because the next day Valentine was clubbed to death by Roman executioners.
St. Valentine gave his life so that young couples could be bonded together in holy matrimony. They may have killed the man, but not his spirit. Even centuries after his death, the story of Valentine's self-sacrificing commitment to love was legendary in Rome. Eventually he was granted Sainthood and the Catholic Church decided to create a feast in his honor. They picked February 14 as the day of celebration because of the ancient belief that birds (particularly lovebirds, but also owls and doves) began to mate on that very day.
It's surprising to know that Valentine's Day is really founded on the concept of love in marriage. On This Valentine's Day, what are you doing to keep the love in your marriage burning? While giving a gift and card, having a candlelight dinner, and sharing special words of love are all important, the true spirit of Valentine's Day needs to last throughout the year.
So, on this Valentine's Day...I like to ask you...will you be my Valentine. I don't promise to you...stars and moon, I know that the life ahead is not going to be a bed of roses...but I promise that I will keep you happy. I will not give tears to your eyes. I will be true and faithful to you. I wish you to walk with me, in this journey of life...together...holding hands. I want to hug you tight...close to my heart...so that nothing can harm you. So, will you be my valentine...not for today...not for one year...but for my life...till the time I breathe my last.
I know that you think that I don't even mean a single word I say. But it's only words and words are all I have to take your heart away. This world has lost its glory let's start a brand new story now my love. (Words...BoyZone)
"I love you"...for what you are and as you are...with all that you have...with your past and present...with your good and bad qualities...with your strengths and weaknesses. For me "I love you" is not just a sentence...for me every "I love you" is a promise, a commitment to stand by the person you love- whatever the odds, whatever the outcome, whatever the cost. Every "I love you" is a pact. A sworn oath to stick by each other, to be there for each other, no matter what personal sacrifice is necessary, and no matter what Consequences may befall. Every "I love you" has nothing to do with touches, or kisses, or sweet nothings whispered in an attentive ear.? I love you" is more than all these things. It means loyalty and honor and trust without the expectation of the same in return.
Again, I know that you think that I don't even mean a single word I say. But it's only words and words are all I have to take your heart away. This world has lost its glory let's start a brand new story now my love. (Words...BoyZone)
Walk with me, the path of life,to explore every bend of the road. Enjoy with me the beauty of life,along its wonderful way. Find comfort with me, in each other's arms, when grief crosses our path. Find strength with me, in each other's strength, when despair lies in wait. Laugh with me, a single true laugh, to enlighten another's distress. Cry with me, a single true tear, to understand true happiness. Cherish with me, the wonders of life, as they need to be preserved. Rejoice with me, in the mysteries, of what is yet to be. Find peace with me, in each other's souls, when the world has gone insane. Find love with me, in each other's hearts, until this life has been fulfilled. And when the path comes to an end I hope we can say from within, we've known the beauty of true love, our love came from within.
I know that you still think that I don't even mean a single word I say. But it's only words and words are all I have to take your heart away. This world has lost its glory let's start a brand new story now my love. (Words...BoyZone)
It's only words and words are all I have to take your heart away. This world has lost its glory let's start a brand new story now my love. (Words...BoyZone)
With lots of love...and Care
Sanjeev Sharma (Mobile: +91-9876328841) (E-mail: ss_himachali@yahoo.com; sanjeev.himachali@gmail.com) (Blog: http://sanjeevhimachali.blogspot.com/)
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sanjeev_Himachali
To start with...Why does one love? Is it to find an escape from the pains of loneliness or is it to feel the warmth of fulfillment that it brings to one's heart? To me, love is the essential of all being. One cannot exist without the love of another. To live for another makes a life complete in every way. Each beat of one's heart, each breath, each small thought signifies a Small part of a love that is shared with another.
Who does one love? Are two people destined to come together or is it by chance alone? Only one's heart can tell when love has come. It can feel the longing desire from its deepest point and it can feel the overpowering attraction when they are close. One loves whom his heart has chosen.
When does one love? Does one share their love in the soft mist of the early morning or in the crisp breeze of the darkening night? Those that are truly in love know no night or day, no dark or light. Love is a continuous thing.
So, if you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.
And if you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him/her, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage. Do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.
And if you fall in love with someone, he/she falls in love with you and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time. Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life.
Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can. There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them Rather than from them.
The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.
Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into saying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do.
Love always has been and always will be a mystery. Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life. IF YOU KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN, IT WILL COME AGAIN.
Why Valentines Day?
In the third century, the Roman Empire was ruled by Emperor Claudius II Gothicus. He was nicknamed Claudius the Cruel because of his harsh leadership and his tendency for getting into wars and abusing his people. In fact, he was getting into so many wars during the third century that he was having a difficult time recruiting enough soldiers.
Claudius believed that recruitment for the army was down because Roman men did not want to leave their loves or families behind, so he canceled all marriages and engagements in Rome. Thousands of couples saw their hopes of matrimony dashed by the single act of a tyrant. And no one seemed interested in standing up to the emperor.
But a simple Christian priest named Valentine did come forward and stood up for love. He began to secretly marry soldiers before they went off to war, despite the emperor's orders. In 269 AD Emperor Claudius found out about the secret ceremonies. He had Valentine thrown into prison and deemed that he would be put to death.
As Valentine was awaiting execution, he fell in love with a blind girl, who happened to be the jailers daughter. On the eve of his execution, with no writing instruments available, Valentine is said to have written her a sonnet in ink that he squeezed from violets. Legend has it that his words made the blind woman see again. It was a brief romance because the next day Valentine was clubbed to death by Roman executioners.
St. Valentine gave his life so that young couples could be bonded together in holy matrimony. They may have killed the man, but not his spirit. Even centuries after his death, the story of Valentine's self-sacrificing commitment to love was legendary in Rome. Eventually he was granted Sainthood and the Catholic Church decided to create a feast in his honor. They picked February 14 as the day of celebration because of the ancient belief that birds (particularly lovebirds, but also owls and doves) began to mate on that very day.
It's surprising to know that Valentine's Day is really founded on the concept of love in marriage. On This Valentine's Day, what are you doing to keep the love in your marriage burning? While giving a gift and card, having a candlelight dinner, and sharing special words of love are all important, the true spirit of Valentine's Day needs to last throughout the year.
So, on this Valentine's Day...I like to ask you...will you be my Valentine. I don't promise to you...stars and moon, I know that the life ahead is not going to be a bed of roses...but I promise that I will keep you happy. I will not give tears to your eyes. I will be true and faithful to you. I wish you to walk with me, in this journey of life...together...holding hands. I want to hug you tight...close to my heart...so that nothing can harm you. So, will you be my valentine...not for today...not for one year...but for my life...till the time I breathe my last.
I know that you think that I don't even mean a single word I say. But it's only words and words are all I have to take your heart away. This world has lost its glory let's start a brand new story now my love. (Words...BoyZone)
"I love you"...for what you are and as you are...with all that you have...with your past and present...with your good and bad qualities...with your strengths and weaknesses. For me "I love you" is not just a sentence...for me every "I love you" is a promise, a commitment to stand by the person you love- whatever the odds, whatever the outcome, whatever the cost. Every "I love you" is a pact. A sworn oath to stick by each other, to be there for each other, no matter what personal sacrifice is necessary, and no matter what Consequences may befall. Every "I love you" has nothing to do with touches, or kisses, or sweet nothings whispered in an attentive ear.? I love you" is more than all these things. It means loyalty and honor and trust without the expectation of the same in return.
Again, I know that you think that I don't even mean a single word I say. But it's only words and words are all I have to take your heart away. This world has lost its glory let's start a brand new story now my love. (Words...BoyZone)
Walk with me, the path of life,to explore every bend of the road. Enjoy with me the beauty of life,along its wonderful way. Find comfort with me, in each other's arms, when grief crosses our path. Find strength with me, in each other's strength, when despair lies in wait. Laugh with me, a single true laugh, to enlighten another's distress. Cry with me, a single true tear, to understand true happiness. Cherish with me, the wonders of life, as they need to be preserved. Rejoice with me, in the mysteries, of what is yet to be. Find peace with me, in each other's souls, when the world has gone insane. Find love with me, in each other's hearts, until this life has been fulfilled. And when the path comes to an end I hope we can say from within, we've known the beauty of true love, our love came from within.
I know that you still think that I don't even mean a single word I say. But it's only words and words are all I have to take your heart away. This world has lost its glory let's start a brand new story now my love. (Words...BoyZone)
It's only words and words are all I have to take your heart away. This world has lost its glory let's start a brand new story now my love. (Words...BoyZone)
With lots of love...and Care
Sanjeev Sharma (Mobile: +91-9876328841) (E-mail: ss_himachali@yahoo.com; sanjeev.himachali@gmail.com) (Blog: http://sanjeevhimachali.blogspot.com/)
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sanjeev_Himachali
Mastering the Secret Language of Love
What is it that attracts us to certain individuals, while we find others unappealing?
In some circles, this force of attraction has been attributed to fate, destiny or even karma. Beyond the romantic dream of soul mates, there is a very real scientific cause at work here: the secret language of love that is hard-wired into your physicality.
Each one of us consists of 6,000 miles of neurons wired through the body. These neurons affect every area of our lives, including our complex behaviors in love - a process that is totally subjective and illogical.
If you've ever fallen in love, you know that it sometimes has nothing to do with whether the person is "right" for you or not. Why does this happen? This happens simply because what we describe in our society as "falling in love" is the formation of a subjective neural pathway inside our brains.
What does it mean? It simply means that in response to previous emotional experiences, your brain has become wired to interpret love in a very particular way. And this way is shaped by what you have interpreted love to be in the past.
You have a unique love formula or equation that contains all the behaviors, emotions and expressions that you interpret as love. Together, they comprise your secret language of love which operates largely on a subconscious level.
One aspect of your love equation contains a specific set of criteria that must be present in order for you to fall in love. This aspect explains why some of us are inexplicably drawn to individuals with dark hair, blue eyes or some other physical characteristic. When we find ourselves attracted to another, the brain chemistry starts generating the appropriate endorphins and we "fall in love."
Another aspect of your love equation contains the set of criteria that must be present in order for you to feel loved. This aspect operates for the duration of the relationship: if the relationship is to have any chance of surviving the initial phase, it is imperative for us to learn more about what we need from one another in order to feel loved. This is what I refer to as your secret love equation, because it happens at a subconscious level.
Your secret love equation is based on the concept of reward. If you were rewarded for certain behavior such as compliance when you were growing up, you learned to interpret that reward as love. You are likely to repeat some version of that behavior with a partner in the hope of getting a similar reward. Hence, the compliant child becomes a submissive partner and expects to be rewarded for that behavior, which is then interpreted as love.
And that's where the rub lies! Despite research conducted with thousands of people and their love equations, there are no two partners who have identical love equations for feeling loved. Love equations are completely subjective. Therefore, the way you express love could be very different from the way your partner interprets love.
When one partner expresses to the other, "I don't feel loved by you," the other may respond by listing many things they do to demonstrate their love. However, for the partner who is feeling unloved, none of the actions listed may equate to love in their mind, because these actions are not wired into their secret language of love. It is entirely possible for one partner in a relationship to feel they are being extremely loving, while the other partner is actually feeling completely unloved!
In general terms, men find it easier to express their love by doing things for their partner. Women, on the other hand, may disregard these actions as expressions of love because they are looking for some romantic verbal expression of love apart from the daily routine.
And the plot thickens: While the basis for your unique love equation is based on emotional experiences from your past, your beliefs about what happens after you fall in love can change dramatically as a result of a major emotional upheaval.
In the traditional (mythical) love equation cherished by our culture, you meet the person of your dreams, fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. Most of us start out with a love equation similar to this... until the first experience of infidelity or a breakup!
After suffering a broken heart and broken dreams, your love equation may change to meeting the partner of your dreams, falling in love, getting married, suffering infidelity and living in the pain of that experience forever. For such a person, even the thought of meeting a partner and falling in love, now equates to pain.
Every time that person mentally replays the negative emotional experience, they are actually strengthening the new, disempowering love equation by firing off a synaptic response in the brain that makes this new equation real for them.
How do we master the secret language of love in ourselves and in our partners? We do so through honesty and commitment. We need to honestly look at our areas of wounding and pain, and express it to our partners along with what we need to feel loved. We also need to consciously commit never to hurt our partners intentionally in their areas of wounding and to express our love for them in the language they need to receive it - even when their love equation is different from ours!
Developing a loving relationship requires mutual commitment to honor and respect our own truth and our partner's truth without compromise. When we are not honest with our love and our pain, our wounds and our fears, we compromise our truth. Over time, the compromises made by not facing up to truth, breed resentment that will eventually destroy all intimacy and push our partners away.
When two souls are drawn together, it happens because there is a resonance in their resonant energy fields. These fields draw people together because of their common energies.
These matching fields offer powerful opportunities for healing and growth, provided a mutual commitment is made to learn each other's secret language of love, heal each other's wounds and to evolve as fully conscious, loving beings.
Copyright 2006 Ada Porat
Ada Porat is a life balance coach and a vibrational energy instructor with extensive international teaching and clinical experience. She uses proven mind/body/spirit techniques from diverse cultures to help clients reclaim meaning, joy and success in life. Her free monthly newsletter, Soul Food, offers practical tools for abundant living. http://www.AdaPorat.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ada_Porat
In some circles, this force of attraction has been attributed to fate, destiny or even karma. Beyond the romantic dream of soul mates, there is a very real scientific cause at work here: the secret language of love that is hard-wired into your physicality.
Each one of us consists of 6,000 miles of neurons wired through the body. These neurons affect every area of our lives, including our complex behaviors in love - a process that is totally subjective and illogical.
If you've ever fallen in love, you know that it sometimes has nothing to do with whether the person is "right" for you or not. Why does this happen? This happens simply because what we describe in our society as "falling in love" is the formation of a subjective neural pathway inside our brains.
What does it mean? It simply means that in response to previous emotional experiences, your brain has become wired to interpret love in a very particular way. And this way is shaped by what you have interpreted love to be in the past.
You have a unique love formula or equation that contains all the behaviors, emotions and expressions that you interpret as love. Together, they comprise your secret language of love which operates largely on a subconscious level.
One aspect of your love equation contains a specific set of criteria that must be present in order for you to fall in love. This aspect explains why some of us are inexplicably drawn to individuals with dark hair, blue eyes or some other physical characteristic. When we find ourselves attracted to another, the brain chemistry starts generating the appropriate endorphins and we "fall in love."
Another aspect of your love equation contains the set of criteria that must be present in order for you to feel loved. This aspect operates for the duration of the relationship: if the relationship is to have any chance of surviving the initial phase, it is imperative for us to learn more about what we need from one another in order to feel loved. This is what I refer to as your secret love equation, because it happens at a subconscious level.
Your secret love equation is based on the concept of reward. If you were rewarded for certain behavior such as compliance when you were growing up, you learned to interpret that reward as love. You are likely to repeat some version of that behavior with a partner in the hope of getting a similar reward. Hence, the compliant child becomes a submissive partner and expects to be rewarded for that behavior, which is then interpreted as love.
And that's where the rub lies! Despite research conducted with thousands of people and their love equations, there are no two partners who have identical love equations for feeling loved. Love equations are completely subjective. Therefore, the way you express love could be very different from the way your partner interprets love.
When one partner expresses to the other, "I don't feel loved by you," the other may respond by listing many things they do to demonstrate their love. However, for the partner who is feeling unloved, none of the actions listed may equate to love in their mind, because these actions are not wired into their secret language of love. It is entirely possible for one partner in a relationship to feel they are being extremely loving, while the other partner is actually feeling completely unloved!
In general terms, men find it easier to express their love by doing things for their partner. Women, on the other hand, may disregard these actions as expressions of love because they are looking for some romantic verbal expression of love apart from the daily routine.
And the plot thickens: While the basis for your unique love equation is based on emotional experiences from your past, your beliefs about what happens after you fall in love can change dramatically as a result of a major emotional upheaval.
In the traditional (mythical) love equation cherished by our culture, you meet the person of your dreams, fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. Most of us start out with a love equation similar to this... until the first experience of infidelity or a breakup!
After suffering a broken heart and broken dreams, your love equation may change to meeting the partner of your dreams, falling in love, getting married, suffering infidelity and living in the pain of that experience forever. For such a person, even the thought of meeting a partner and falling in love, now equates to pain.
Every time that person mentally replays the negative emotional experience, they are actually strengthening the new, disempowering love equation by firing off a synaptic response in the brain that makes this new equation real for them.
How do we master the secret language of love in ourselves and in our partners? We do so through honesty and commitment. We need to honestly look at our areas of wounding and pain, and express it to our partners along with what we need to feel loved. We also need to consciously commit never to hurt our partners intentionally in their areas of wounding and to express our love for them in the language they need to receive it - even when their love equation is different from ours!
Developing a loving relationship requires mutual commitment to honor and respect our own truth and our partner's truth without compromise. When we are not honest with our love and our pain, our wounds and our fears, we compromise our truth. Over time, the compromises made by not facing up to truth, breed resentment that will eventually destroy all intimacy and push our partners away.
When two souls are drawn together, it happens because there is a resonance in their resonant energy fields. These fields draw people together because of their common energies.
These matching fields offer powerful opportunities for healing and growth, provided a mutual commitment is made to learn each other's secret language of love, heal each other's wounds and to evolve as fully conscious, loving beings.
Copyright 2006 Ada Porat
Ada Porat is a life balance coach and a vibrational energy instructor with extensive international teaching and clinical experience. She uses proven mind/body/spirit techniques from diverse cultures to help clients reclaim meaning, joy and success in life. Her free monthly newsletter, Soul Food, offers practical tools for abundant living. http://www.AdaPorat.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ada_Porat
Monday, January 3, 2011
Hip-Hop Love Stories and the Construction of Socially Acceptable Urban Identities
Hip-Hop has historically existed as a male-dominated industry. Being a reflection of urban life and struggle, past Hip-Hop artists have been forced to maintain a certain level of masculinity in order to be accepted by their urban communities. Old school rappers who talked about love were often viewed as soft or corny. Because of this perception, the existence of love in Hip-Hop is a fairly new concept.
As the movement has gained support and recognition throughout the world, love has become an increasingly common theme in Hip-Hop music and poetry. However, the taboo still exists. Even today, Hip-Hop artists and poets present their love stories in a manner that allows them to maintain socially acceptable identities. Hip-Hop stories about love must still meet the masculine ideology in which the movement is rooted in order to be perceived as real and true.
The purpose of this study is to analyze Hip-Hop love narratives and how artists present these love stories in order to construct socially acceptable identities. I believe personal narratives are closely tied to the construction of identities. It is through personal narratives that people can recount life-changing events, realize socially acceptable behavior and create individual identities.
I have researched and studied several Hip-Hop love songs and analyzed the lyrics as text and poetry. In my research, I have found five common narrative forms used by Hip-Hop poets to tell their love stories: contrasting, perceptual, spiritual, conversational and metaphoric. These five narrative forms are used not only to present the story correctly, but also to maintain positive perception among a society that might view this sensitivity as weak or disrespectable. I plan to demonstrate each of these narrative forms and show how the poets use them to tell their love stories while establishing acceptable identities.
The Contrasting Narrative
One of the most common forms of Hip-Hop love stories is the contrasting narrative. Many artists use Hip-Hop music and poetry to tell stories about the negativity surrounding their urban environments. The contrasting narrative allows the poet to express his or her love story as a contrast to this negativity while constructing an acceptable identity because that negativity is real and understood in urban communities.
A great introductory example to the contrasting narrative would be the following passage from Method Man's "All I Need":
Back when I was nothin'
You made a brother feel like he was somethin'
That's why I'm with you to this day boo no frontin'
Even when the skies were gray
You would rub me on my back and say "Baby it'll be okay"
In this song, the poet uses the contrasting narrative to show his love for someone who stood by him when "skies were gray." He speaks of his love interest as someone who helped him get through troubled times, thus providing a positive contrast to his negative surroundings.
Another example of the contrasting love narrative can be seen in this passage from Guru's "All I Said":
This world is crazy, she's supposed to help me stay sane
Supposed to help with the pain, supposed to help me maintain
In this song, Guru uses the contrasting narrative to share his view of what love should be. He admits that his "world is crazy", and that his love interest is the one person who can make it bearable.
In "She Tried", Bubba Sparxx uses the contrasting narrative to tell a story that actually recalls his love being there for him when he was in trouble with the law:
A fly country girl, just workin' them gifts
She's my queen, was a virgin I guess
But I ain't never ask and I ain't never tell
But Betty had the cash every time I went to jail
This song further illustrates the use of contrasting narratives to express love. Though the poet confesses spending a lot of time in jail, Betty was always there to bail him out, again acting as a positive contrast to his troubles.
The Perceptual Narrative
Another common narrative form of Hip-Hop love stories is the perceptual narrative. Like the contrasting narrative, the perceptual narrative is based around the negativity that surrounds the poet's life. But instead of presenting this love as a contrast to that negativity, the poet uses this narrative to explain how that love changed his or her previously negative perceptions. This narrative form also allows the poet to construct a socially acceptable identity due to the acknowledgement of the negativity of urban life.
In "Jazzy Belle", Andre of Outkast uses the perceptual narrative to tell of how his love changed his former perception of women:
Went from yellin' crickets and crows, witches and hoes to queen thangs
Over the years I been up on my toes and yes I seen thangs
...
Now I'm willin' to go the extra kilo-
Meter just to see my senorita get her pillow
On the side of my bed where no girl ever stay
House and doctor was the games we used to play
But now it's real Jazzy Belle...
In this song, Andre talks about a personal change of perception caused by love. He admits that at one time he thought of women as "witches and hoes." But "now it's real", and he has a new perception of women as "queen thangs."
Another great example of the perceptual narrative can be found in the following passage of Black Star's "Brown Skin Lady":
I don't get many compliments, but I am confident
Used to have a complex about, gettin' too complex
You got me, willin' to try, looked me in the eye
My head is still in the sky, since you walked on by
In this example, the poet admits to having relationship issues, but tells of how love helped him to overcome these issues. The poet's love interest helped him to change his perception of love and fear of "gettin' too complex".
In "Ms. Fat Booty", Mos Def further illustrates this point by demonstrating the perception of other men and speaking to his love on how he is different:
Yo, let me apologize for the other night
I know it wasn't right, but baby you know what it's like
Some brothers don't be comin' right
I understand, I'm feelin' you
Besides, 'Can I have a dance?' ain't really that original
In this song, the poet uses the perceptual narrative to acknowledge that some men "don't be comin' right", but that he has a different perception of women than these other men.
In "Come Close", Common uses the perceptual narrative to express how love has made him change from his old ways:
I want to build a tribe wit you
Protect and provide for you
Truth is I can't hide from you
The pimp in me
May have to die with you
Although the poet used to be a "pimp", an urban term for a man who romances a large number of women, he tells of how his love interest has changed his actions and perceptions.
The Spiritual Narrative
A third common form of Hip-Hop love stories is what I like to refer to as the spiritual narrative. The spiritual narrative relies on the poet's characterization of love as a kind of godly being, spiritual force or royalty, often with the feeling that the story teller has to protect that force. The spiritual narrative allows the storyteller to construct an acceptable identity by characterizing love as spiritual or perhaps even predetermined.
A great example of the spiritual narrative can be found in this passage of The Roots' "You Got Me":
Somebody told me that this planet was small
We use to live in the same building on the same floor
And never met before
Until I'm overseas on tour
And peep this Ethiopian queen from Philly
Taking classes abroad
Here, the poet uses the spiritual narrative to describe the time, place and emotions that his love was founded on, speaking of them as if they were somehow meant to happen. He also refers to his love interest as "this Ethiopian queen from Philly", using the royal characterization so common in spiritual love narratives.
In "Love Language", Talib Kweli also uses a spiritual narrative form and refers to his love as a kind of royalty:
Now if they call you out your name
Then that's a different thing
Anything but Queen
I'll go to war like a King
This example shows the protection aspect of common spiritual love narratives. The poet feels it is unacceptable for anyone to "call you out your name", or in other words, use derogatory language toward his love. If someone were to do so, he would "go to war like a King", thus maintaining his masculinity.
In "Mind Sex", Dead Prez uses the spiritual narrative to talk about love introductions:
African princess, tell me yo' interests
Wait, let me guess boo, you probably like poetry
Here's a little something I jotted down in case I spotted you around
So let me take this opportunity
In this song, the poet uses the spiritual narrative to tell a story about the introductory conversation he had with a love interest. He refers to her as "African princess", once again showing the tendency of poets who use the spiritual narrative to refer to their love interests as royalty.
The Conversational Narrative
The fourth common form for Hip-Hop love stories is the conversational narrative. The conversational narrative allows the poet to recite or recreate a conversation with his or her love and present it as play-like story about a specific love experience. Conversational love narratives are typically characterized by introductory speech and compliments, and are most commonly used as tools to tell a story about a first meeting or impression. These narratives allow the storyteller to construct an acceptable identity mainly because they often include many smoothly-structured compliments, and make the poet look like a cool ladies man.
A great example of the conversational love narrative can be found this passage from Dead Prez' previously mentioned "Mind Sex":
Pardon me love but you seem like my type
What you doin' tonight?
You should stop by the site
We could, roll some weed play some records and talk
I got a fly spot downtown Brooklyn, New York
In this example, the poet is reciting the conversation between himself and a love interest. As with many conversational narratives, it is based around meeting someone for the first time. The poet is telling a story about a girl he met that "seem[ed] like my type". He then inquires "What you doin' tonight?", and follows with a list of charming speech in an attempt to create a social relationship with the girl.
In a similar narrative, "Beautiful Skin", Goodie Mob uses the following conversational narrative to retell the first phone conversation he had with his love interest:
This is Carlito from a couple of days ago, you sound tired
Forgive me if I've called you too late
But what better time to relate mind-states?
Where could I begin?
Has anyone ever told you 'You got beautiful skin'?
This example further illustrates the use of introductory language in conversational narratives. The poet asks his love interest if she would like to "relate mind-states", or get to know each other. He then tells her that she has "beautiful skin", an often successful introductory complement given to women.
Cee Lo uses the following conversational narrative in "Slum Beautiful":
Look at you, unbelievably, brilliant beautiful you
You're looking deliciously divine darling you really and truly do
The very thought of has got me running at the speed of love
Exploring everything about you from the ground to the God above
In this song, the poet uses the conversational narrative to speak directly to his love interest through the song. Note the wide range of compliments offered in this passage, as well as the charm, again illustrating a common aspect of the conversational narrative.
The Metaphoric Narrative
This fifth form of Hip-Hop love stories is possibly the most fascinating. It is the metaphoric narrative. The metaphoric narrative is used when the poet speaks of love in a metaphor of some kind. The most popular and socially acceptable form of metaphoric narrative is using Hip-Hop as the metaphor. Many followers of the movement view Hip-Hop as a driving force of love and happiness in their lives. Thus, many metaphoric love narratives revolve around Hip-Hop itself.
A good example of such a metaphoric narrative is the following passage from Black Eyed Peas' "Rap Song":
Yo, she got hips to hop
And she ain't goin' pop
She like a record that I wanna rock
When I'm rollin' in my ride cruisin' down my block
In this example, the poet actually uses a unique play on words and speaks of a love interest as a Hip-Hop metaphor. He relates this person to "a record that I wanna rock".
The group further extends the metaphor in the following passage:
She like a beat that makes me wanna grab the mic
She like the lyrics that I wanna recite
She like the old school mic with the cable
You can bring your records and I'll bring the turntable
Again, the poet relates his love interest to other things he and his audience love, including "old school mic with the cable", reciting lyrics and spinning records on a turntable.
Another great example of the metaphoric narrative is in The Roots' "Act Too ... Love of My Life":
Learnin' the ropes of ghetto survival
Peepin' out the situation I had to slide through
Had to watch my back my front plus my sides too
When it came to gettin' mine I ain't tryin' to argue
Sometimes I wouldn'ta made it if it wasn't for you
Hip-Hop, you the love of my life and that's true
This passage is unique because it utilizes both the metaphoric and contrasting narrative techniques. The poet refers to Hip-Hop as "the love of my life", while simultaneously showing how that love created a positive contrast to the tough "ropes of ghetto survival". The poet admits that he "wouldn'ta made it if it wasn't for you", showing that his love for Hip-Hop was and is a driving force in his life.
And that leads us to the most popular metaphoric Hip-Hop love narrative of our time. In "I Used to Love H.E.R.", Common Sense uses the metaphoric narrative to express his love for Hip-Hop. He starts off the narrative with the following passage:
I met this girl, when I was ten years old
And what I loved most she had so much soul
She was old school, when I was just a shorty
Never knew throughout my life she would be there for me
In this example, the poet starts off telling a story about a girl he met when he "was ten years old", and how she was always there for him. The poet continues to use the metaphoric narrative to speak of this girl, including the good times and hardships they faced together. Not until the end of the poem does the listener actually realize that the entire song is a metaphor. The song ends with the following passage:
I see rappers slammin' her, and takin' her to the sewer
But I'ma take her back hopin' that the stuff stop
Cause who I'm talkin' bout y'all is Hip-Hop
In this song, the poet used the metaphoric narrative to tell a story about the love of his life, the struggles she faced, and his desire to save her. In the end, he admits that this love is not a real person, but instead his love of Hip-Hop.
The presentation of Hip-Hop love narratives is a very difficult task. In order to talk about love and still construct a socially acceptable urban identity, artists tend to implement one of the five successful love narrative forms. I believe that our society's analysis of Hip-Hop music and culture is lackluster at best. The Hip-Hop love narratives presented above could provide a great basis for linguistic and sociolinguistic studies. Not only are they presented in a variety of styled narrative forms, but they also include deep thought, perception and analysis of the urban environment that characterizes an increasing majority of American society. Through the analysis and study of these love narratives, linguists could come to a greater understanding of and appreciation for the Hip-Hop vernacular, literature and, ultimately, culture.
Works Cited / Discography
A Tribe Called Quest. People's Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm. Jive Records, 1990.
Black Eyed Peas. Bridging the Gap. Interscope Records, 2000.
Black Star. Mos Def & Talib Kweli are Black Star. Rawkus Records, 1998.
Bubba Sparxx. Deliverance. Interscope Records, 2003.
Common. Electric Circus. MCA Records, 2002.
Common Sense. Resurrection. Relativity Records, 1994.
Dead Prez. Let's Get Free. Relativity Records, 2000.
Goodie Mob. Still Standing. La Face Records, 1998.
Guru. Jazzmatazz Streetsoul Vol. 3. Virgin Records, 2000.
Method Man. Tical. Def Jam Records, 1994.
Mos Def. Black on Both Sides. Priority Records, 1999.
Outkast. ATLiens. La Face Records, 1996.
Outkast. Stankonia. La Face Records, 2003.
Talib Kweli & DJ Hi-Tek. Train of Thought. Rawkus Records, 2000.
The Roots. Things Fall Apart. MCA Records, 1999.
Nathaniel Long is the creator and editor of Hip Hop Linguistics, a website dedicated to studying, interpreting and understanding hip-hop music, language, philosophy and culture. You can read more articles and reviews at http://www.hiphoplinguistics.com/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nat_Long
Other Names for Love
Well, here we are in February and many people are celebrating St. Valentines. It is a good time to think about love and relationships to put a bit of warmth in our lives after a long winter.
Today, I would like to look at what love is. The English language only has one word for love and it is used interchangeably for almost everything. We can say I love my husband and I love Chocolate. Both are using the same word and it is only by the context that we can ascertain the difference. The Greeks, on the other hand, have four different words to describe love. Each word gives a different nuance to the word that helps us understand more fully what is being spoken of.
I want to look with you at the four Greek words for love.
These are:
1) Eros
2) Storge
3) Philia
4) Agape
Eros:
The first type of love we are all familiar with. Our English word Erotica is derived from this word. Sadly, some people never get passed this type of love and base their relationships purely on sexual attraction. This is the type of love that merchandisers tend to play on with the public trying to get us to buy their products to make us more attractive to the opposite sex. Unfortunately, aromatherapy is being misrepresented by these same people also to traffic their products. You would be surprised to see how many products are being offered specifically to attract the opposite sex using aroma.
Studies have been done trying to prove the theory of attraction through Pheromones based on animal instincts. I personally feel that attraction of a life partner is much more than the basis of his/her smell. In fact, it was impossible for me to fall in love with my fiancé based on smell as we met through ICQ on the Internet. It was impossible for smell to play any part in our meeting. Our relationship was based on character and friendship which later developed into love. You can say we met each other and we just clicked ;-) (pun intended) {by the way, we are getting married next month.}
So, the point is that erotic love is not a deep meaningful love but superficial and based on sexual attractiveness only.
2) Storge:
This type of love is what we find in families between the different members. It is the love of mother, father, brothers and sisters. This is a much stronger type of love and involves commitment. "Blood is thicker than water" and most people will do all they can to stand behind their families.
3) Philia:
This type of love is pertaining to what we might call a brotherly love. Not brotherly in the sense of family, but in the sense of kinsmenship. This is the type of love that makes us want to help the little old lady cross the street safely and watch out for our fellow man. It is a good type of love and helps us to see others as needing our love but, sadly, it can often also be a selfish love. Many people only show love to others if they can get something out of it. Thankfully, most people love out of pure motives.
4)Agape:
The fourth type of love is called Agape love. This is the highest form of love there is. This is an unconditional love for others in spite of their character flaws and weaknesses. It is a difficult love to obtain simply because we, as humans, are usually concerned more with ourselves and how the world and people around us affect us. In order to love in the agape way, we must overcome our selfishness and look to the needs of others. Prime examples of this type of love are people like Mother Theresa, Cardinal Leger etc. These are people who look out for others interests above their own. It is a special kind of love that needs to be cultivated for it to grow. We can only achieve this type of unselfish loving as we put the needs of others as a priority.
Without getting religious here, I just want to tell you there is a verse from the Bible that fits well with this concept. It is called the Golden Rule. Luke 10:27, says "Love your neighbour as yourself" and "Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets." -Matthew 7:12 . All relgions of the world share in this same philosophy.
One thing that stuck out to me as I read these is that it says to love your neighbor as yourself. Sadly, many people in this day and age, don't love themselves. If you don't love yourself how can you love others? Unconditional love needs to start with you. You must learn to accept the fact that you are a special and unique person. Yes you have flaws, we are all human, but these flaws do not make you less of a person. Learn to love yourself in spite of your shortcomings and accept yourself for who you are. As you love yourself you will find it easier to love others.
The second thing that stands out is that the Golden rule says to do what you want others to do to you. This is not the same as "Don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you." It is not a position of avoiding doing evil or harming others but an actual DOING of something for others. This requires action on your part. It says "DO unto others". It is when we realize that we reap the rewards of love as we involve ourselves in the lives of others, making their lives easier and more pleasant, as we would want our own lives to be.
Enjoy the month of Love and remember always to love yourself and to DO something for someone each day.
This article is bought to you by Sharron Myers
Sharron Myers has been a teacher of Spiritual Truth for over 30 years. She also is a Certified Aromatherapist and Personal Development Consultant. Be sure to check out her site: http://www.sharron-myers.com
To Live the Life You Want, Learn the Skills You Need http://www.sharron-myers.com
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Sunday, January 2, 2011
Are You Fickle in Love?
Are you in love with love?
How long does it take for you to fall in love? A recent research study suggested that we could fall in love in 8 minutes. Dr. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University, says, "I think that you can fall in love with somebody in much less than 8 minutes of conversation but 8 minutes will do. I think we are an animal that was built for love at first sight."
How often do you fall in love? Some personality types adore the "new love chemistry high" and they fall in and out of love with abandon. Are you enamored (addicted?) with the experience? Since we are not perfect creatures we were given a chemical to mask our new love interest's faults. Researcher, Dr. Robert Friar, assures us this is true, "Falling in love involves Phenylethylamine or PEA, which causes a person to be less likely to be aware of the faults of the other person." Ask yourself, would you fall in love with someone who throws his underwear on the floor if you were not highly inebriated by amour? Serotonin and dopamine, two mood neurochemicals create much of the decidedly pleasurable love intoxication that overwhelms us. Do people who fall in love rapidly and habitually have more of the "love" neurochemicals? We really don't know.
Falling in love is one of the most spectacular and utterly magnificent experiences that can befall a mere human. The symptoms are similar to some psychological disorders. One study indicated that subjects who had recently fallen in love had more in common (chemically) with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder subjects with than with normal subjects. Thus, our world is turned upside down and we are perfectly happy not knowing what we are doing, where we are, or even who we are. Other people cease to exist as far as Romeo and Juliet are concerned. We walk around with the silliest grin on our faces...completely unaware it is there. Schoolwork suffers, careers suffer, and we couldn't care less. Life is good, the world is filled with bliss and we are in LOVE... And yet, with all of the psychotic symptoms and inconveniences we would not trade that fabulously enthralling condition for anything in our solar system. Are you in love with love?
Do you fall easily? Let's find out...
Take the test...
1. Have you been in love 10 or more times? Yes__ No__
When you have a new person in your life which of the following applies to you?
2. Want to spend all of your time with him or her? Yes__ No__
3. Feel maddeningly restless? Yes__ No__
4. Think about her all of the time? Yes__ No__
5. All of your emotions intensify? (i.e., angrier, happier, hurt more deeply). Yes__ No__
6. Foods, even your favorites (like chocolate chip cookies), lose all appeal? Yes__ No__
7. Members of the opposite sex no longer interest you, no matter how gorgeous (i.e., Harrison Ford in the Indy series)? Yes__ No__
8. Pursuits that once were fascinating are, yawn... just not important? Yes__ No__
9. Your idea of a good time is lying on your bed day dreaming about your sweet thing? Yes__ No__
10. You go from the heights of ecstasy to the depths of despair in 2.4 seconds. Yes__ No__
11. Do you feel as if you have walked into a "pea soup" fog and can't find your way out and (even worse) you don't care? Yes__ No__
12. Do you frequently answer questions with, "What did you say?" Yes__ No__
13. You would rather have a phone call or e-mail from your lover than from the President of the United States? Yes__ No__
14. You spend great chunks of your time listening to Elvis Pressley sing "The Wonder of You?" (or Peter Cetera, "Have You Ever Been in Love") Yes__ No__
15. Do you begin to feel the stirrings of love in less than two weeks? Yes___ No___
Scoring...give yourself one point for each yes answer.
1 - 5 Score:
There is definitely something extraordinary going on in your life. However, it could be the flu. If it is not the flu, and you have met an interesting new person, this may be the first stage. I don't know if I feel sympathy or envy... oh yes, I do... Go back to the first question, how often has this happened to you? Your answer to that question is the key. If it has happened 16 times, then, yes, you fall in love easily. Also, look at your answer to question 15. Answers to the other questions simply tell you the severity (your symptoms are in the low range) of your symptoms.
"No sooner met but they looked, no sooner looked than they loved than they sighed, no sooner sighed but they asked one another the reason, no sooner knew the reason but they sought the remedy." ~Shakespeare
Scores 6 - 10:
You have definitely been bitten. You are in mid stage and just beginning to really annoy the people around you. Fasten your seat belt... stage three is coming...As in the previous category how often has this happened to you and how quickly. Your severity of symptoms (perhaps, neurochemicals) is moderate. You may want to ask yourself, "How long do I stay in love?" It is possible to experience the chemistry and lose the true spirit of love. True love is long term; it provides a safe port in an often-chaotic world.
"It is best to love wisely, no doubt; but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all. " ~ William Thackeray
Scores 11 or over:
Absolutely, when you have it, you have it bad. If love were measured as a temperature... you are at 105 degrees. However, there is a positive consideration; you are so overwhelmed by the magnificence of love that you don't notice the symptoms. If you have been "ill" with love numerous times, you are extraordinarily talented at love at first sight. I salute you! One question, how will you know when the "right" one comes along? Perhaps you should consider slowing down. Take the time to understand each person, in depth... that will take many months. I will admit, the leisurely strategy lacks the electric shock effect to which you are accustomed. Nonetheless, you won't weep later because the "one" slipped by while you were looking in another direction.
"It is impossible to repent of love. The sin of love does not exist." ~ Muriel Spark
This test was taken from Dr. Dorothy McCoy's book, The Ultimate Book of Personlity Tests (Champion Press, 2005). It was a finalist in the USA Books psychology books for 2005.
About the Author Dr. Dorothy McCoy, Columbia, SC USA http://www.police-stress.com Learn more about love, personality, test, love test, Dr.McCoy is an author, psychotherapist and police consultant. Two of her books (The Ultimate Book of Personality Tests and From Shyness to Social Butterfly)have been published and three other books will be released in the next few months. She can be reached at drmccoy86@aol.com
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How Do You Know when Someone is in Love with You?
When
Often we have to ask ourselves, does he/she really love me? Is he/she really in love with me? Am I in love with him/her? Do I really love him/her? These are questions of the heart and only you know the answer. However, there are indicators to help us understand the answer to our question of being in love and knowing when someone is in love with us.
When there is a question, there is undoubtedly an answer. It may not be the answer we are looking for, but there is an answer. The key to receiving the answer is being able to accept the truth. Sometimes we don't want to know the truth because it hurts. It hurts because we want things our way, just like we dreamed it up. Unfortunately, life cannot always be the dream that we want it to be. Sometimes, maybe most of the time for most of us, life is not the dream we want at all, not anything close to it. It's important to understand that love does not love anyone, it just loves love. This is why it is so easy to fall in love and so difficult to stay in love. Love is! And that is it. The Bible says that there is no greater love than this, than a man lay down his life for his friend (John chapter 15 verse 13). If this is an indicator of someone being in love then we must be able to answer the question: "Would I die for him/her?" and "would he/she die for me?"
Often in relationships people neglect to embrace the truth of who they are and therefore cannot understand themselves enough to answer questions of love. For example, I have often asked this question of someone whom I was very interested in, "What did you not know about the person you just broke up with that you learned later in the relationship?" If a person is really truthful about this, they would say exactly what they learned down the road that they did not know in the beginning of the relationship. Often it is these things we find out later about a person that makes us change our mind about being with them. The response I typically get is, "I cannot answer that question." Or "I have to think about that?" This indicates that there is nothing that they did not know from the beginning. The next question I typically ask is even more provocative and to the point, "Did you pay attention to what you knew about the person or did you think you could change them or they would change later on in the relationship?" The answer for this one is always, "I just thought things would change." The point here is if you are honest with yourself and the person you are interested in, and truly pay attention to who you are and what you are about, you would not allow yourself to get into relationships where you had to change something about someone or wait for them to change something about themselves. This goes to that old cliché "Be true to yourself." This is not to say that people don't change, rather the change should be for the better, not the worse.
You see, answering the above questions honestly will give you power to embrace the truth about you. When you know the truth about you, it will allow you to deal with others with more honesty and truth as well. Now here is the touchy part, can you ask this question of someone you are in love with and accept their answer? When you make up your mind that you are in love with someone, does that mean that they must be in love with you? If so, then you are not really in love, you are in need of a hug. You cannot force anyone to be in love with you. This is what makes many marriages fail, people try to force each other to be in love and it ends up destroying the relationship. Being in love is something that must be voluntary. Some of the books on the subject of relationships and finding someone to fall in love with and have them fall in love with you are nothing more than a cookbook for a bad relationship. The famed game of love is just that, a game. You should take note, that as in all games, there are winners and losers. However, you should also know that "Love" is not a game, it is a life style and you need to be able to commit to that life style like a religion, with your mate, and like wise your mate must be able to commit to you in the same way.
How
There is nothing more to knowing if that man or that woman is in love with you or if you are in love with them. There is no secret, there is no game, there is only the truth. The truth is being willing to die for that person and that person being willing to die for you. In a since that is what marriage is all about: "Two people dying as individuals and becoming a new person together. Working together, pulling together, pushing together and being in love together for ever."
Now the term "die" does not mean that you will actually go through with it at some point and end your life. God willing both of you will live a long time and be happy together. However, it does mean that when it comes to satisfying each other and making each other happy that you would put your inhibitions aside (kill your fears and worries) and do what is necessary to make your mate happy and like wise your mate must be able to do the same for you. If there is no reciprocity, then there is no love. Reciprocity does not mean a quid pro quo. In other words, never get into a situation where you only will do what your mate will do for you. This is not love. Sometimes you will give more then your mate and other times your mate will give more than you. This is how it will always be. There is no such thing as 50/50 love. Forget that Teddy Pendergrass song from back in the day, it only sounds good. When you find yourself giving more than your mate, just remember, this is the person you are in love with and this person is in love with you. The Bible says that "charity covers a multitude of sins" (I Peter Chapter 4 Verse 8 KJV). The definition of "charity" is: lenient judgment of others. You must be willing and able to have lenient judgment of the person you are in love with. Be willing to grow with your mate through communication when mistakes are made. This is an on going thing, it never ends as long as you both live.
Why
The Bible explains the greatest thing is charity: "And now abide faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity (I Corinthians Chapter 13 verse 13 KJV)." It also says "And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. (I Corinthians Chapter 13 verse 2 KJV)" When you consider what charity brings to a relationship, if you cannot show charity between each other, but everything else is simply wonderful, your relationship really is nothing.
Last, but not least, a clear indicator of someone being in love with you is when they can keep other people out of your personal relationship with them. Your friends and family may mean well, but you are not in love with them and they apparently cannot be in love with you like your mate. Otherwise, why do you even need to be with your mate? Keep your friends and family, but keep them out of your relationship when it comes to making yourself and your mate happy. A good Bible scripture for this is Mathew Chapter 6 verses 3 and 4: "But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly."
Everyone does not need to be a mentor or counselor in your relationship with your mate. Learn how to keep most intimate things between you and your mate to yourself. I am not talking about abusive things, just personal things that should only be between you two.
You can tell when someone is in love with you when they are willing to consistently show charity and demonstrate unselfishness toward you and your needs. This does not mean that you should take kindness for weakness. This would be a big mistake. Often people show charity and love for their mate, but the mate takes it for granted and begins simply ignoring the truth of true love. Love just loves love and if love does not receive love back, then it will soon find another love. This again is a form of being able to die for them and they should reciprocate willing to die for you (die in the sense of putting there own selfishness aside to make you happy and you being able to do the same for them) with cheerfulness.
“Pastor Ethan” is a character based on Author, Nevada York from her novel, Mahogany’s Revelation. “Pastor Ethan” resides in the Bay Area of California. http://nevadayork.com
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Saturday, January 1, 2011
Love Heals
Love's ointment works on bruised knees as well as broken dreams. Love has the power to heal all conditions of the body and mind. Love's glow melts its seeming opponents into pure light. Where love is, all is well.
Love is at the center of every miraculous healing. It lifts the spirit of the bereaved. It penetrates the darkest hallway to reveal the next step. There is no loss, pain, or betrayal that love cannot illuminate. There is no sadness that love cannot soothe.
Always Enough
Sometimes it seems that love is the problem. It can appear that love caused the pain. People we love reject us, or they die, or they become so important to us that we encounter endless types of hurt. It seems that love is scarce and can be taken away at the whim of the beloved. This illusion of the scarcity of love comes closer to describing the cause of the pain. It is the sense of lack that hurts, not the love. The lack is an illusion.
There is always enough love. It is behind every great creation. Love is the canvas that holds up the paint. Love is the page that hosts the words. Love is the day you live into. It is every background, hidden behind every story, colored by every circumstance. Underneath every experience there is a field of love upon which that moment was built. There is always enough love. We simply must find it.
Finding Love
Finding love is different from finding your keys or your eyeglasses when they disappear. And yet, we tend to think of it in the same way. We think love is hiding somewhere. We left it with that person or in that old town or in that dear friend. We tend to think love is located in the person we love and when we lose that person we have lost love. Love is very different from that. Love lives in every moment in every particle of existence. Finding love is more like looking through the paint to the canvas, looking through the situation to the essence.
Try This
Here is an exercise for accessing love regardless of conditions. In order to reap the full benefit from this exercise, first take a moment to look around you at the condition of your life. Notice what kind of presence love occupies in your awareness. Take a neutral glance at your entire situation as if through a wide-angle lens. Without judging or defending, free from praise or blame, simply appreciate the contrasting landscape of your incarnation.
Once you have perused your lifescape, close your eyes and gently settle your awareness on your heart center right in the middle of your chest. Allow your breathing to become soft and relaxed. With each breath imagine your heart center infused with the gentle presence of love. Imagine this love soothing all hurts, filling all spaces of loss, and brightening all gloom. As the light of love becomes more established in you, realize that this love is always there. It is intrinsic to your nature. It is native to your being. You don't have to put it there or develop it. It is the canvas of your life. Love is what you are made of.
Expand your awareness to include your whole body and an egg-shaped energy field all around you. Let love's quiet presence ease into your awareness, permeating your entire field. With each gentle breath, allow yourself to become so soft and peaceful that the love that resides within you can shine through your situation and your thoughts, through your pains and your losses. Become so quiet that you can sense the slightest presence of this beautiful love as it glows through your physical body.
You may want to regularly spend some time revealing the love that you are in this type of meditative process. The benefits of this practice may surprise you. Love heals a scraped elbow as well as a broken heart. And it does something more. It attracts more love.
© 2003 Rebbie Straubing All Rights Reserved
Rebbie is a workshop leader, Abraham Coach, and writer. Increase your awareness of Divine Love at the Affirmative Contemplation website at http://www.AffirmativeContemplation.com. You can receive Dr. Rebbie Straubing's Free e-Course, 7 Secrets for Manifesting Your Heart's Desire, at http://www.yofa.net/7secret.html. Read more articles and find out more about YOFA at Rebbie’s main website http://www.YOFA.net.
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